Wednesday, February 15, 2017

When being obedient is not convenient...

Prayer. Fasting. Breakthrough. These three concepts have been like bees buzzing in my mind, converging in ways I don't quite yet understand. I have been completely convicted by the first two and a little scared of the last one. When I hear the word "breakthrough" in a spiritual context, I feel a surge of skepticism pulsing through my veins as I have heard preachers refer to an exclusively economic downpour when speaking of breakthrough. And even worse, that prayer and fasting are like our tools to pry open the tightly grasped fist of an otherwise distant God to cause his blessings to shower down.  In spite of this erroneous analysis, I can't shake that this concept is somehow for me in this season. I was reading an article today from Desiring God explaining that this kind of breakthrough comes from a military context where a specific and strategic point in the enemy's lines is broken through at one fell sweep. The author continued to explain how prayer and fasting are divine ways of provoking a breakthrough and within a biblical perspective, these ancient acts of connecting with God are necessary to form the offensive lineup in a head-on attack. I can't deny that God has purposefully led me to these three concepts for this season, but I am honestly having a really hard time with it.

Primarily, because I don't want to pray and fast. I don't have time. How do I go to work breakfasts/lunches/dinners and not eat? This past month has been one of the busiest I can remember so at what time am I supposed to pray? I apologize dear Christian brother or sister; I technically do "want" to do these things, but I also know that if I REALLY wanted to, there would be no excuses.

Secondly, I don't even know what the breakthrough is! I don't know what the strategy could be and I definitely don't know what it is supposed to look like. That said, what do I do with these divine whispers that are currently resonating in my mind? Is the breakthrough for me personally? For my family? For Guatemala? I have no idea. What I do know (in my head) is that I need to obey God's promptings, but I feel like I just need a little more information. Is that not fair? Well, I actually don't think fair has anything to do with it.

Did Yahweh let Abram and Sarai know the address of their destiny? Did He tell Daniel for what reason he was being taken captive by the king? Did He tell Joseph the purpose behind sending him to prison? I don't think so....Did God tell David McCormick that his 3 month long mission's trip to Guatemala would turn into 14 years of ministry with a beautiful family of five?

I share this with you because it is refreshing to know that weakness is a common trait among us all. I know what I am supposed to do and yet I struggle doing it. I can look back at my own life and see the incredible ways God has surprised me and surpassed my wildest dreams with such unmerited favour, impossible opportunities and beautiful people. Yet, like my kindred spirit Thomas, I feel like I need to stick my finger in it before I believe it's real. This call to prayer and fasting is definitely not because God has searched the face of the earth and found me righteous, on the contrary, it is because He knows that I need to become so much weaker and dependent. It is completely contrary to any kind of military strategy, but it is exactly the way the kingdom of God works. Just as God had to reduce Gideon's forces and equip him with household items instead of weapons, I need to be stripped of my pride and doubt to bring about the breakthrough that God is planning to do. I am completely aware that God's word continues to spread in spite of me and if I am disobedient in this, then I will be the one to miss out on the blessing of being used by God. I hope you pray for me as I choose to embark on this journey that I have been putting off and dreading for days. Who knows, this entire process and breakthrough may even be for you.

David McCormick